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When You Forget Who You Are
This reflection pairs a chapter from What the Silence Held with the song What Was I Made For, tracing a season of identity confusion and emotional suppression. It explores the quieter kind of unknowing, the years spent meeting expectations while losing touch with the self underneath them. This piece is about survival without grounding, about learning to feel after numbness, and about the slow work of remembering who you are when the noise finally settles.
SOUNDTRACK AND ATMOSPHERECREATIVE GROWTHREFLECTIONS AND ESSAYS
Rowena
2/5/20261 min read
What Was I Made For — Billie Eilish
Chapter: What the Silence Held
Playlist: The Seeker's Lessons
Song: Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For? (Official Music Video)
There were years when I did not know myself at all.
I knew the roles I played.
I knew the expectations.
I knew who everyone else needed me to be.
But me?
That took time.
This song captures the ache of that entire chapter of my life.
When I floated through the world without grounding.
When I knew how to survive, but not how to feel.
If you have ever questioned your purpose, not in a dramatic way but in a quiet, exhausted way, you will understand why this one hits so deep.
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